


Desolate Blue

by Feiyh



Series: The things we leave behind [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Illnesses, M/M, Parent Mito and Hashirama, bits of humour, subplot plays important role
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-11 05:48:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8956834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feiyh/pseuds/Feiyh
Summary: Life is often accompanied with many pains and miraculous milestones. It can begin and end in the most unexpected yet predictable ways. Sometimes it's not about all that happens to you throughout it but how you faced everything that comes your way. Tsunade will come to understand these facts with the many things that occur in her life. 
The real question is though will she accept these things and move forward with the changes or run away from it all.
Author's Note: Currently being revised. Please read chapter one's author's note. 
Chapter 1 edited.





	1. It begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone I know it's been a while (a very, very long while) and I am so sorry for the wait. The reason I have been gone for so long is that I wanted to improve the fanfiction and put forward my best work. This leads me to the good news... I got a beta!!! They offered to help me get this story to the place I know it can be and we're currently in the process of editing each chapter. I will post(well technically it's replace) each chapter immediately after it's finished being tweaked. Nothing major has been changed; the plot is still the same. 
> 
> So with all that being said it will be a while before I post chapter 6. Hopefully I'll have this story done by the end of the year/early next year.
> 
> All chapters that have been edited will have "Beta: sovandprins" after the disclaimer as well as the note will most likely have me excitedly announcing another chapter has been polished and ready for your enjoyment. I will write which chapter has been replaced/edited in the summary as well, so if you prefer to wait until I post chapter 6 to continue reading you can simply check that.
> 
> Anyway, for anyone who is reading this for the first time this is a five part series and Hashirama and Mito are written as Tsunade's parents here.
> 
> I hope you enjoy. :)
> 
> Disclaimers: I don't own Naruto.
> 
> Beta : sovandeprins

Tsunade remembers that when she was a little girl, she got to visit a small community quite some distance away from Konoha City with her father. The town was tucked between Tottori and Shimane, bordering the ocean which invited a potent yet calming scent of sea salt to waft through the streets.

Tsunade accompanied her father by request of her mother, as she wanted her to see the village in which she grew up in. Sadly, her mom had to stay in Konoha when she fell ill the day before they had all planned the travel to Uzushio. Mito insisted that Tsunade still went along with her father, despite her own mother's absence since she would rarely get such an opportunity to leave the city. "I know you'll love it there", Mito had whispered to her before she left.

She was very grateful to her mom for insisting she went because she really had liked it there.

Since arriving, her father decided they would have some time to explore the town before he had to appear at his meeting. Tsunade enjoyed this decision greatly because when they did get there, she knew she would be stuck waiting outside the office for an hour with a bodyguard, bored until her father was finished.

As it was Tsunade’s first time travelling outside of Konoha, she felt mesmerized by all the different people and the new values that came along with it. The town was simpler with its small buildings, cobblestone walkways, and a peaceful atmosphere as opposed to the concrete skyscrapers and congested streets of Konoha. Her father held her hand as they walked through the village and she had looked around curiously at the many unique shops with a variety of charms and at the people who all had vibrant hair colours, ranging from deep reds to bright yellows. Everyone seemed to be friendly, smiling at the little five-year-old girl who pointed in wonder at all the new things around her, intrigued by everything that came into sight.

Her father, being the leader of the prosperous Konoha, had an important business meeting with the head of Uzushio to talk about their continued trade and friendly relations.

While they were walking down the street, something sparkling caught her eyes. She looked over her shoulder and saw an elderly woman sitting behind a stand. On it were assortments of jewellery, one of which was a crystal necklace. It stood out thanks to its charming blue colour and shone brightly where the sun rested on its surface. Tsunade stopped walking, absolutely transfixed. 

Hashirama also stilled, as he felt the slightest resistance in the hand he was holding. He looked back to see what his daughter was doing and followed her eyes to the elderly woman’s stand. A smile pulled at the corners of his lips.

Tsunade was eagerly trying to pull her father towards the stall, but before they could make it there one of their guards spoke in low tones into his ear. He looked down at her with an apologetic smile. Hashirama bent down to look into her brown eyes and held back a chuckle at the annoyed pout Tsunade made, her insistent tugging never faltering.

"Hime-chan", her pulling ceased just a bit and Hashirama spoke gently to her. "Remember, I have a meeting to go to. We can come back and look at whatever you like over there later", he finished his sentence while gently hoisting her up into his arms. She started protesting in his hold but a gentle squeeze of her hand and a kiss to her cheek – a silent promise of their return, made her calm down a bit.

However, she couldn't help but look back at the blue crystal on the table wistfully.

 

* * *

 

Tsunade was bored, impatiently waiting for her father's meeting to finish. It had already been over two hours, maybe even more, but her father had yet to exit the office. Her bodyguard, Kawarama, had tried to keep her entertained but had given up after a half hour when he realized that Tsunade would rather stare restlessly at the door or out of the waiting room doorway instead of playing.

Kawarama was Hashirama's younger brother and one of the appointed body guards for both individuals while they were out of Konoha. Their other bodyguard, Toka, was not in the waiting room with them for she chose to monitor the entryway of their current room and the hall beyond it.

Tsunade looked out the window and noticed that the sun was starting to set, casting beautiful hues of rose and tangerine on the houses outside. All she wanted to do was go back out there and find the elderly lady, who’s necklace she was so engrossed over.

Her head snapped to the right when she heard the door open and soft laughter greeted her ears. She watched as her father and a venerable white-haired man bid their farewells to each other. The Uzushio mayor waved to her briefly, of which she returned politely, before retreating into the boardroom. Tsunade rushed over to her father, took hold of his hand, and pulled him towards the exit. He gave out a low chuckle.

"Slow down, Hime-chan."

Tsunade didn't look back but replied nonetheless, "We have to hurry – _she_ might be gone already!" With that, she pulled her father with as much strength as she could out the door and soon onto the streets. The sound of her father and body guards' amused laugher didn’t veer her.

 

* * *

 

Tsunade remembered how much she was sulking when they had gotten back to the market and the woman, along with the necklace, were nowhere in sight. She had turned to her father with tears in her eyes only for him to pick her up and start with his regular silly antics to cheer her up. Hashirama pulled his cheeks in and moved his lips up and down - the perfect imitation of a fish which Tsunade usually found ridiculously funny, especially when the other proceeded to kiss her forehead and cheek with puckered lips. But, Tsunade didn't even smile at the attempt and refused to giggle when her father's hand moved to lightly tickle her sides. Sadly, all his attempts failed as Tsunade was far too disappointed to play along.

"Excuse me?"  

Hashirama paused with Tsunade still held in his arms. Kawamura and Toka stopped in their tracks on either side of them. The old lady from the market exited a small shop with a friendly smile that reached her eyes. Tsunade's face brightened as she instantly recognized the woman and so she wiggled out of her father's hold to run over to her. Hashirama and Kawarama followed closely behind.

The lady smiled kindly at her, "Did you come back for what you saw this morning?" she inquired.

The blonde girl nodded eagerly and told her about the blue crystal necklace, how she really, _really_ had wanted it. Behind her, Hashirama made a step to protest – _‘Hime-chan, you can’t demand such a thing’_ – but the woman smiled kindly at both of them before standing up straight again. She paused for some time, thinking, before asking them all to wait outside while she went and got something. When she returned she was holding a box containing multiple different jewellery, which she held low and close to Tsunade.

On top of everything in the box laid the sea blue crystal necklace. It was attached to a black string with two small, silver balls on the either side. The adults present looked inside the box and Hashirama was the first to react. 

"Oh, Hime-chan, it's very pretty", her father gushed while he knelt to Tsunade’s height and palmed her shoulders.

The old lady's reaction was a bright smile as she carefully shifted the box to one hand and picked up the necklace with the other. "This is one of my favourites", she remarked and held the crystal up higher, making the street lights shine on it. It twinkled beautifully. "And it's very special too."

The tone of her voice caught both father’s and daughter's attention, but Kawarama narrowed his eyes sceptical at the old lady’s words.

"The crystal itself is very old, older than even I am”, she continued. “But that is not what makes it so unique." The woman paused as though for dramatic effect.

"This necklace can bring you great luck."

Tsunade brown eyes widened in awe as she stared at the blue gem. Hashirama chuckled softly at the woman's words but said nothing to disagree with her. Kawarama doubted it but, he also kept quiet, not wanting to be the one to destroy Tsunade’s childlike view on the world. 

Children need to believe in something.

"Really?” Tsunade replied breathlessly as she looked up at the elderly lady. The woman seemed so genuine and the conviction in the lady's words had both Hashirama and Kawarama wondering if the woman truly believed the words she spoke.

"Yes, little one, it can bring the owner of it immense luck.” Tsunade peered up at her father with a silent plea in her eyes, then glanced back to the woman with the same begging gaze.

Hashirama exchanged glances with his brother, as they realized the little blonde was now thoroughly beguiled by the idea of this so called ‘lucky crystal necklace’. It would be hard to convince her to leave it behind. The woman's voice immediately grabbed their attention with what she said next.

"If you like it so much, then you may have it", she said while handing the necklace over to Tsunade, then quickly added "Free of charge", when she saw Hashirama about to protest.

The two adult males frowned at her while the little girl positively beamed at her, the necklace now in her tiny hands. The woman could see the questions in their eyes when they looked at her.

Her lips quirked up again, but just slightly.

"I hope it will bring you more luck than it ever brought me."

 

* * *

 

When they returned to Konoha the next afternoon, Tsunade was quick in making her way up to her parents' bedroom. She wanted to tell her mother about all the things she saw in Uzushio

She opened the door and saw her mother's oddly pale face turn to her from her sitting position. Mito immediately smiled upon seeing Tsunade enter the room.

"Kaa-san!” was the exclamation she heard before being enveloped in a warm, loving hug.

"Welcome back Tsunade! Did you enjoy the trip?" she asked her daughter. Tsunade burrowed herself into her mother's chest and held on to her tightly. Mito giggled at the cute display of affection and glanced up when she heard a huff at the door. Her husband was leaning on the doorframe, pouting at them.

"Why don't I get a hug like that from Hime-chan when I come back from trips?" he complained lightly. Tsunade giggled wholeheartedly at this and Mito looked at her husband in amusement but said nothing, choosing to ignore her husband's childishness for the time being. She heard another huff from the door and suppressed a wide smile.

“Kaa-san?”, Tsunade called while she lightly pulled at her mother’s sleeve.

"What is it?", Mito questioned, seeing the excitement in her eyes.

Tsunade pulled away from her and Mito looked at the small blonde curiously when she dug her hands into her pockets. Tsunade held out her fisted hands, then slowly unfolded them.

In her palms laid the necklace.

“I got this at the market!”

Mito gently took the item into her hands for further inspection. "It's beautiful Tsu-chan. Did your father buy it for you?"

Tsunade shook her head wildly and so Mito looked to her husband for an explanation. He crossed the room and answered before Tsunade could.

"Actually, a lady generously gave the necklace to Hime-chan. She said it would bring her luck", he ran a hand through his long brown hair uncomfortably when she raised an eyebrow at him. "I couldn't say no to her", he gestured to Tsunade.

Before Mito could comment, Tsunade spoke up happily.

"The nice lady said it brings lots of good luck and that she hopes it brings me some too!” She smiled brightly, and her cheeks dusted with a light pink as she continued. "But I want you to have it, Kaa-san."

Both parents stared at the little girl in surprise. Mito was the first to respond to her.

"And why are you going to give it to me?" she inquired curiously. The blush on Tsunade's face went away a bit and worry blossomed onto her features.

"Because Kaa-san keeps getting sick, and sometimes you're in bed all day because you can't get out." Tsunade moved closer to her again. "I want you to be better, so you should have the necklace and get good luck." she said that as if she believed this little piece of jewellery could make everything better and, in truth, it really had seemed like that at the time.

Both Mito and Hashirama looked speechless at her explanation. They glanced at each other briefly, at a loss for what to say, before looking down at Tsunade. Then, finally, to the crystal necklace. Mito closed her hand around it and looked up to her daughter's smiling face with a smaller one of her own.

"Thank you, Tsunade-chan. I hope it brings me luck too."

Her response appeared as though it was exactly what the little girl wanted to hear. She threw herself into her mother’s embrace and closed her eyes.

Mito was anything but calm, though, and her expression of worry was met with an equally worried but confused gazed from Hashirama. He shrugged, indicating he had not known the necklace had been for her originally.

Both parents gazed down at the small blonde who looked like she was ready to doze off. Mito's arms tightened around Tsunade slightly as her thoughts started drifting to her frequent sickness.

A large hand gently squeezed hers.

Mito looked up to her husband as he sombrely took a seat next to her, offering her a reassuring smile. She turned her hand over, letting the crystal fall from them onto the sheets and held his hand, squeezing back.

All of them hoped for more than just luck to allow them to have more time together. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any inquiries you can ask me.
> 
> Comment? Please :)
> 
> Until next time...


	2. Sometimes with Fortune

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. I had to edit this about three times because I kept losing the finished version. I apologize now for any grammatical errors.

Four years had passed by and Tsunade just turned nine a week before. In those four years Mito's health seemed to have taken a miraculous turn around and she was barely ill for most of the time. Her health had been showing so much progress that she had been able to get pregnant and give birth to Tsunade's little brother Nawaki. 

The little bundle of cuteness and joy was happily welcomed to the family as they celebrated both the birth along with Hashirama's last year as Mayor before his younger brother, Tobirama takes over.  
  
The days after the birth were met with many visitors coming to see the new addition even Hashirama's best friend and chief of staff Madara made a rare appearance one day.  


* * *

  
It had been a week after Nawaki's birthday when Madara had shown up. Tsunade was playing with her two friends Jiraiya and Orochimaru in the yard when a black car parked in the driveway and out stepped Madara dressed sharply in a dark suit and looking ready for business.  
  
Tsunade waved hello to the man as he walk by and made his way inside. She turned back to her friends when she heard Jiraiya insulting a blank faced Orochimaru on how he looked like a girl and she promptly hit the white haired boy on his head.  
  
She sometimes wondered how they all became friends. They were all quite different even if Jiraiya and her had slightly hot headed personalities which she would disagree with, if ever pointed out. The camaraderie between them was very obvious despite the arguing that seemed dominant admist them most of the time. Her and Orochimaru first became acquainted because they were both the top students in their individual classes when they were seven. Ever since they moved up a grade and shared a class, they got closer due to them having some similar interests and studying together. How Jiraiya manage to become such a close friend to them will forever remain a mystery.  
  
The white haired boy seemed to dislike Orochimaru greatly leading to a one-sided argument between the two, that is until Orochimaru finally gets annoyed and argues back. Tsunade always found it funny when the two were at each others throats. No one could unsettle Orochimaru better than Jiraiya.

Then there was her and the white haired baboon. Sometimes she wondered if Jiraiya had a crush on her or if he was just plain annoying. The other couldn't hold his tongue when he had something to say leading to many injuries caused to him by one little blonde girl. At other times he would sulk when she ignored him in favour of Orochimaru. She couldn't bring herself to care because he would normally have insulted her and Orochimaru before that.

The thing that had really brought them together was when the boys had joined Tsunade in her tutoring sessions with Sarutobi. The eighteen year old had started helping her upon request of her Uncle Tobirama. Tsunade had invited Orochimaru to the sessions as a way to spend more time with her friend and he hadn't minded. Jiraiya, on the other hand begged her for weeks to let him join because he was failing most of his classes. Surprisingly, it was her pale haired friend that asked her to let him join them. When she told Jiraiya that, that had been the only reason she was allowing him, he seemed to calm down with fiery hatred for Orochimaru and settle with subtle dislike. The good thing about it was that Sarutobi didn't seem to mind too much but the classes were now filled with more arguing sometimes than turtoring.  
  
This just made those classes all the more enjoyable which is why Tsunade often wondered why she came to love her annoying friends so much.  


* * *

 

A year later at one of their weekly tutoring sessions she noticed something off about Orochimaru. He was quiter than usual and even Jiraiya's normal baiting did nothing to get a reaction. He still answered questions when asked and greeted them but otherwise remained silent. A week later she noticed him walking oddly and before she could ask, she was beaten to it by a loudmouth Jiraiya who hid his worry for the other boy quite well with an insult. Orochimaru never gave an explanation for it though he just smiled at them and said he was fine. After that he seemed to try quite hard to hide if he was injured in any way. Both her and Jiraiya would ask from time to time but when it was obvious he wasn't going to answer they stopped.

Around the time they stopped Orochimaru also looked as though he was better so they didn't worry anymore or well Tsunade didn't worry, she could remember Jiraiya often glancing at the other or giving him an assessing stare when he thought no one was looking.  


* * *

  
On Nawaki's third birthday they had a small party to celebrate it. Tsunade loved playing with him despite their age difference and they were running around the house chasing after each other and laughing gaily as they went.  
  
Some close friends of the family were invited to celebrate another year of the bundle of energy that was currently running around the house with Tsunade. When Nawaki had come up to her asking to play she couldn't refuse and left her friends to chase after the giggling toddler.  
  
'They were probably arguing in the garden were she left them', she thought with a wide grin.  
  
Her mother was most likely in the kitchen finishing up the cake she had made for Nawaki. Mito told her and her father earlier on to keep Nawaki away from the kitchen so the cake would be a surprise. Her father had been the one watching her little brother before he came to her. She saw him talking to Madara though when she had dashed after Nawaki and ran into the house.  
  
She rounded a corner from the hallway leading to the stairs and briefly caught sight of what she assumed to be Madara talking to a shorter, pale, black haired male.  
  
Orochimaru?  
  
But she didn't get to ponder it long as Nawaki called out to her from his place on the first floor while she was running for the stairs. She noticed Nawaki had stopped running and headed down the stairs at a slower pace watching as the her little brother was picked up by her father.  
  
"It's time for cake Nawa-chan", Hashirama announced happily as he tickled the squirming toddler in his arms. He then turned to her, "Go and get your friends Hime-chan. Your mother is ready to share the cake", with that Hashirama patted Tsunade on the head and walked of cheering 'Cake, Cake!' with the child in his arms copying him.  
  
Tsunade watched them leave before turning back to the stairs and trying to remember if the two people she saw talking upstairs were really Madara and Orochimaru. She was going to go and check when a head of white appeared at the top of the stairs and started to descend.  
  
"Jiraiya?", she called to the other who didn't appear to be paying attention to where he was going as though he was distracted. He continued to walk down the stairs barely stopping before bumping into her. Jiraiya looked up at her then and blinked slowly as if just realising she was there.  
  
"Hime, you're done playing with Nawaki", Jiraiya stated but he still seemed a little distraught. Tsunade stared at the other, confused by his behaviour but continue nonetheless.  
  
"Where were you? And is Orochimaru upstairs?"  
  
Jiraiya only appeared to be more bothered by this question. That had Tsunade worried and she was already making her way up the stairs when Jiraiya grabbed her arm. She turn back to question him but stopped at his next words.  
  
"He's talking to Madara", the white haired preteen said. Tsunade was very confused now.

"Why?", she questioned because as far as she knew the two of them have never spoken a word to each other or had a formal meeting. Jiraiya seemed to not know how to answer this question. He looked down and his jaw clenched as though he wasn't planning on answering. Tsunade was ready to rip her arm from Jiraiya's grasp and run up the stairs when a soft voice stopped her.  
  
"Madara-san was only offering me a scholarship because he was impressed with my academics", Orochimaru said quietly as he descended the stairs but his eyes were focused on Jiraiya when he said it. Tsunade looked to Jiraiya who gave a tense nod with his eyes shifting between her, Orochimaru and the floor and then she turned her gaze to Orochimaru's carefully blank face. Tsunade was by no means stupid and could tell she was being blatantly lied to at this moment or at least wasn't hearing the whole truth. She called them out on it.  
  
"I can tell that's not the truth", she saw Jiraiya flinch and stared up at Orochimaru whose face betrayed nothing, "Or at least not the whole truth" she continued. Neither of them said anything and she could feel annoyance bubbling up under the worry.  
  
 "Tell me what going on!", she demanded but was met with silence. Madara chose that moment to walk down the stairs along with Hashirama who walked back into the room wondering what was taking them so long.  
  
Hashirama didn't seemed to notice the tense atmosphere and told them to hurry up while Madara meerily glance at them sparing and extra second on Orochimaru before continuing onwards to the kitchen.  
  
Tsunade tsk'ed but turned away from them. She didn't see Orochimaru's shoulders relax when she did this but she heard Jiraiya's sigh.  
  
"We're not done here yet", she said angrily and stomped off to the kitchen.  
  
The tension between the two boys remained until they followed after their angry blonde friend.  


* * *

  
They sang happy birthday to a cheering Nawaki and watched him cut the cake with Mito's help. Tsunade glanced at her two friends on the other side of the table, irritated they were hiding something from her. She would get the truth out of them before the night ends.  
  
After everyone who wanted cake got it, she planned on going to talk to the two boys or more accurately punch Jiraiya until she got the truth out of him because nothing was going to be beaten out of Orochimaru. She looked around only to realise they were no longer here. She was ready to go hunt them down when Mito called her to help clean up. Tsunade sighed but started gathering up whatever trashed was left behind on the table.  
  
Mito walked around the kitchen with slow and careful movements which did not go unnoticed by her daughter. The woman looked exhausted and there was a slight flush to her pale face. Which now that Tsunade looked carefully seemed far paler than it had been earlier. She concluded that it may have been because her mom overworked herself for the party but when she really thought about it Mito has been looking paler and paler by the day. She rushed over to the red head when she saw her mother's hand nearly slip when picking up the remaining pieces of cake.  
  
"Kaa-san?", she called to her mother who stared up at her with clouded eyes but she still smiled at the young blonde.  
  
"You can sit down and I'll finish cleaning up", Tsunade suggested with concern clear in her voice. Her mother looked ready to protest but Tsunade lightly pushed her down in a seat at the dinner table with minimum effort which actually surprised her greatly. 'Kaa-san may be feeling worse than I thought'.  
  
Tsunade went about cleaning up the remaining mess in the kitchen while occasionally glancing over her mother. She didn't look to be feeling better but her flush was now gone leaving only steadily paling skin. The blonde teen put the dishes in the sink and decided it would best to go find her father now because her mom's condition was really worrying her. She turned back to Mito to tell her she was going to get Hashirama but froze when she saw Mito's frame sway on the chair before she fell sideways, off the chair and onto the cold tile floors.

Tsunade's shock lasted for all but three seconds before she was rushing to her mother's side shaking her slightly and calling out to her in attempts to wake the unconscious woman.

The commotion in the kitchen drew Hashirama to find out what was going on and at the sight of his unmoving wife on the floor next to a panicking Tsunade had him scrambling over to the two while hastily pulling out his phone from his pocket to call an ambulance. With the phone held to one ear, he lowered his head to Mito's face and placed his ear near her mouth. His panic heightened when he realised how shallow her breathing was and he squeezed the phone needing the 1-1-9 operators to answer now.  
  
Tsunade watched dazed from the side as her father started to talk on the phone and tears blossomed in her eyes. She barely noticed the room slowly being filled with people until Nawaki came up next to her. She felt his warm hand on hers and she saw his other hand pushing at their mother's side. She looked down at the boy with tear filled eyes when he continued to prod at the redhead but got no reaction. She had barely realised he had been screaming out to Mito until his screaming stopped and a choked sob escaped his mouth when Nawaki turned his face to her. There was a long stream of tears flowing like waterfalls from Nawaki's brown eyes and Tsunade was sure she mirrored him with her appearance.  
  
"Kaa-san's not waking up Tsu-chan", the little brunet said between sobs. "...why?"  
  
Tsunade couldn't answer that question so instead she reached out to Nawaki and held him tight in her arms and let him cry into her chest.  
  
Time seemed none existent to her after that, she barely registered her father hanging up the phone or when he picked up Mito to put her on the couch in the living room until the paramedics arrived.  
  
She didn't hear both Jiraiya and Orochimaru saying meaningless words of 'it's going to be okay' but she did briefly notice when the warmth disappeared meaning her little brother had left at some point. The only thing that brought Tsunade out of her daze was catching sight of something blue around her mother's neck just as the sound of an ambulance made itself known outside.  
  
She watched feeling useless when the door was opened and in walked paramedics checking Mito's vitals before a stretcher was brought in to take her into the ambulance. The blue thing shone in the light and yet again drew her attention to it.  
  
She barely recognised the necklace hanging around her mother's neck. She had barely seen it since she gave it to her mother seven years ago.  
  
Tsunade was surprised she remembered at all but wondered with slight frustration what was so important about the piece of jewellery that she was focusing on it now, while her ill and unconscious mother was being wheeled out the house on a stretcher to be taken to the hospital.  
  
She tried to ignore it for it seemed like an insignificant detail and paid more attention to following her mom along with the rest of the houses inhabitants and guests outside.  
  
Hashirama walked towards her and quickly informed her that he was going to the hospital with Mito and that Kawarama would be be staying with them until he got back. She nodded in understanding and watched him hop in the back of the ambulance. She paused for a moment when she notice Nawaki was no where in sight but sighed when she saw Orochimaru holding her crying brother in his arms. The little brunet was clutching her friends shirt tightly while sobs racked his small body but Orochimaru didn't seem to mind too much and comforted the child as best he could.  
  
She turned around at the sound of the ambulance leaving and stood there for a while feeling empty and as though she was missing something important.  
  
Her thoughts reverted to the necklace from earlier without much effort. There was something about it that she was forgetting but she couldn't remember what. Why had she given it to her mother in the first place?

A flash of an old memory with an elderly lady and lucky crystal necklace entered her mind. Her eyes widened with recollection, she had given it to her mother as a lucky charm of sorts in order for her to be healthy again.

She didn't believe in such things like lucky items now but she won't deny it was a miracle that her mother had not been sick for the past seven years up until now. It was meer coincidence that it started around the time of her mother getting the necklace.  
  
Luck. 

Tsunade wondered if that was why but at the moment, she could only hope that maybe it was possible and her mom would be okay.  


* * *

  
With all the commotion that had happened that day Tsunade completely forgot about questioning Jiraiya's and Orochimaru's strange behaviour. Whatever it is they were hiding from her was completely swept under a carpet and replaced with worry for her mother.  
  
By the time Mito was deemed okay to leave the hospital and come home she no longer even remembered that incident transpiring and never brought it up, much to the relief of her best friends.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The main subplot is here. Can you guess what it is?
> 
> Hope you enjoyed that chapter.
> 
> Oh and Merry Christmas everyone.
> 
> Comment? Please (They make nice presents.)
> 
> Until Next time....


	3. But Misfortune is not far behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back. And a happy new year to all of you.
> 
> This is going to be a short chapter, sorry. I was originally going to have one really long chapter but I had to split it because I wanted certain events to happen in different chapters. I hope you don't mind.
> 
> Either way I hope you enjoy.

When Mito came home from the hospital, she sat Tsunade down and with the help of her husband, they explained what exactly was the cause for the incident two days prior.

"I have myeloma", Mito had said deciding to be direct about it. The name of the disease was so small and pretty sounding but the grave, sullen expressions on both their faces told Tsunade the gravity of the situation.  
  
She did not know much about medicine or medical terms and made a confused face at them. Her parents explained to her what it was and with every word they spoke she felt her heart being squeezed tighter and tighter.   
  
"I'll be in the hospital more frequently from now on", her mother told her with a pained smile. "I'm sorry this is happening", the apology made her look up and it was only then she felt her face was wet with fresh tears. Through blurry brown eyes, Tsunade saw Mito coming to her side to envelop her in a hug.  
  
Tsunade wanted to tell her mother that she didn't need to apologize, that she couldn't control it. She wanted to comfort the woman who was hugging her with near crushing force to her chest as though, if she let go it would be over.  
  
Tsunade wanted to help this woman who cared for her and her brother with everything she had but all tne young blonde could do right now was sob into her mother's chest and wish this was a horrible dream. She finally choked out something through her crying when her father came closer to them as well.  
  
"....Why... now?", because for all of Tsunade's limited memories of her past she couldn't remember any signs to a diagnosis like this, not from before the seven years of miraculous health or even during that. It honestly seemed to come out of the blue. Mito had been sick often before, yes, but not with anything more than a bad cold or anemia.  
  
It was silent for a while as both parents tried to find a way to explain it properly because even they hadn't been given a decent explanation as to why. The sobbing in the room died down as the blonde look up to her mother then over to her father in hopes of one of them answering.  
  
It was Hashirama who spoke up this time.  
  
"The doctors say that the times in the past Mito was sick were early signs of the disease", he said slowly as though he was thinking over something. Tsunade gave him a leveled stare.  
  
"That doesn't answer my question, why now, after years of being perfectly healthy", neither parent knew what to say to this. The doctors had tried to come up with a plausible explanation and mentioned hormonal changes and new stresses on her body causing it. Both adults could tell the doctors were as stumped as they were because if that really was the problem it would have happened during her pregnancy with Nawaki. They had told the doctors and nurses exactly that and none of them had anything to say afterwards.  
  
"We're not sure about that but the doctors are trying to find out why", it was Mito who said that this time. However, Mito wasn't sure if they were looking into anything but at least the thought of that being the case was comforting.

Tsunade seemed to accept that as a reason and leaned back in to hug her. Her daughter was seeking solace after hearing such news but Mito had a feeling Tsunade was trying to comfort her too.  
  
Mito sighed as she felt the somber atmosphere in the room. Hashirama gently took hold of her hand like he had done years ago in a similar situation and it brought her mind to the crystal hanging from her neck.  
  
A part of her had started believing the possibility of the necklace being magical when five years past and she was still as healthy as a horse. She often looked at it and wondered if it was the reason for the sudden change in her life. Seven long years had passed, she had another child and was able to live normally up until now.  
  
Indeed she wanted to know the answer to the same question as Tsunade.  
  
Why now?  


* * *

  
After they had broken apart and the somber mood dwindle a bit Mito asked where Nawaki was.  
  
"Oh he's with Jiraiya and Orochimaru. He seems kind of attached to Orochimaru though, ever since....", Tsunade was answering the question but trailed of not wanting to bring back such an upsetting topic. Her mother nodded in understanding.  
  
"And where might they be right now", all Mito wanted was to be around her family right now but one was missing.  
  
"In his room", Tsunade supplied and with that Mito was making her way up the stairs to retrieve her son. Hashirama stayed behind with her.  
  
She peered up at him and saw how exhausted he looked with dark bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. His usual happy-go-lucky smile was missing as well, instead in its place was a strained expression as he looked over to the stairs where his wife had disappeared up.  
  
She turned to him fully and wrapped her arms around him in silent support.  
  
"Will she be alright?", Tsunade asked him and now that she was holding him, she could feel the slight tremors in his body. His arms came around her and squeezed tighly.  
  
"She will be, she has to", her father said, the despair and helplessness clear in his voice. He said the words as though he was trying to convince himself. Tsunade didn't mind as she was trying to tell herself the same thing.  


* * *

  
The diagnosis of her mother's disease is what made Tsunade become interested in medicine. She made it her goal to read every book she could find on it and watched as many videos to explain these types of diseases as possible.  
  
Tsunade had dedicated her free time to researching her mother's illness. Through her researching, she found that she became very intrigued with other diseases and the medicines which treat them. It was all fascinating to her and she eagerly studied more.  
  
It was also around that time she had noticed that Jiraiya had gotten very interested in law enforcement and investigation. She doesn't know what fuelled his new found passion for the subject but it was amusing to see him so focused on something for once.  
  
It was in these moments she would look over to Orochimaru who had decided long ago that science was his aim and nothing else could compare to Orochimaru's love for science and experimenting. They were having their weekly tutoring sessions which has been going on for about five years now. Sarutobi was still their ever loyal tutor as well as an apprentice of her uncle Tobirama, who was the current mayor.  
  
A new addition had been made to the group which was Nawaki, who has been glued to Orochimaru ever since his birthday two years earlier. Her pale friend did not seem to mind at all and helped her brother with his school work as well as taught him new things. It was almost strange to her sometimes because she never thought Orochimaru would get along so well with children or even like them much for that matter.  
  
Jiraiya often made a joke that Nawaki was secretly Orochimaru slave and the child was to oblivious to see it. Anytime he said that she would kick him where it hurt most and leave him to squirm on the floor wherever he landed be it on a carpeted floor or outside in the rain.  
  
She sometimes thought it was beyond cute how Nawaki followed Orochimaru like a puppy and how the older boy had softened up around her brother.

Today was just another day of exactly that display of cuteness and Sarutobi and her watched on in amusement as he was also intrigued by the odd situation while Jiraiya grumbled on the side. Which lead to a swift kick to his shin and an outrage shout. Nawaki and Sarutobi laughed at Jiraiya idiocy while Orochimaru smirked and Tsunade played the innocent rabbit that did no wrong.  
  
She always preferred these happy moments in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may have started of a bit sad but I lightened it up.
> 
> Just keep in mind this fanfiction is about Tsunade's life so there will be good and bad moments. (Even if the bad overshadows the good hehe).
> 
> The next chapter will be coming soon because of the length of this one.
> 
> Anyway feedback is welcomed if you have any.
> 
> See you guys soon.


	4. Then fear rears its unwelcome head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. 
> 
> I've been using my phone to edit and post the previous chapters but it doesn't have spellcheck and after going over some of my previous chapters and seeing the occasional spelling errors (sorry about those I'll fix them eventually) I think it would be best to use my laptop.
> 
> Anyway, Enjoy~

Four years after Mito was diagnosed with myeloma her visits to the hospital became more frequent until she was staying there for months at a time, sometimes. From what the doctors said she wasn't getting any better in fact her condition seemed to worsen with each passing year.

Hashirama, Nawaki and Tsunade had therefore also become frequent visitors of the hospital. They went together most of the time but today was one of the days that Tsunade decided she wanted to go on her own. She had questions she needed to ask the doctors but she also just wanted to sit down and enjoy her mother's company. They didn't need to talk much as just knowing the other was there was enough for both of them.

Since she wanted to visit on her own today was perfect because her father had a meeting to attend and Nawaki had after school lessons with his tutor.

Tsunade walked into the large hospital building and towards the elevator while waving over to the woman at the front desk who had become so accustomed to seeing her over the years that she let her pass without complaint.

Tsunade had become very familiar with the layout of the building after so long. On the days where they were unable to see Mito immediately she would roam around feeling restless and worried that something had happened to her mother. Luckily for her today was not one of those days and she walked into the room her mother occupied. There were three other beds in the large white room besides the one her mom was on but they were empty for now.

Tsunade walked over to the red headed woman who was reading a book before she came in.

"Hi Kaa-san," she greeted while pulling a chair closer to the bed. Mito smiled at her and reached out to brush the strands of wayward hair from her face.

"Tsunade-chan, how have you been?," the woman asked but Tsunade felt like she should be the one asking that. She looked at Mito and noted her thinning, weak frame and sickly pale skin. Her eyes went up to her mother's hair and noticed that it was growing back steadily but the fragility of the strands were obvious. The dark circles under the woman's eyes spoke of lack of sleep and the lines above on her brow spoke of constant stress. From all of that observation it was clear to her that Mito was far worse for wear but her mother still smiled at her with such warmth in tired black eyes that Tsunade put aside her concern for now and decided to engage the woman in a conversation about everything and nothing.

They talked for an hour about how Tsunade was and what's new in her life and about how bad the hospital food was or how Mito missed being home. She mentioned how close Nawaki and Orochimaru were getting along and jokingly told her mother she thought Nawaki may have a crush on him. A laugh bubbled from her mother's throat when she said that and lighthearted laughter filled the large room from both occupants.

"I can imagine Jiraiya won't be very happy about that," Mito added and a choked laugh came from Tsunade as she stared wide eyed at the woman. Mito's expression change to one of amusement, "Don't give me that look. It was too obvious."

Tsunade gazed up at this perceptive woman she knew as her mother. Her mother, who despite barely been home recently was still well informed of everything that happened in her family's and friends' lives. Mito often knew of little things that happened in her or Nawaki's life before Tsunade even told her personally which lead her to thinking someone else was also paying visits to the woman alone. She suspected it was her father.

Nevertheless it brought a grin to Tsunade's face that Mito knew of this little detail. She really loved her mom and could only hope for as much time with her as possible.

Her eyes caught sight of the little crystal around Mito neck. After finally remembering the necklace and what the elderly lady from all those years said she started contemplating if it had been the reason for her mom's seven years of good health. Tsunade was by no means superstitious but that was the best reason to explain something even the doctors didn't understand. Despite Mito's condition worsening now, she still lived on each year albeit a bit weaker. Her mother was conscious and able to move around, even come home from time to time. If there was one thing Tsunade would allow herself to become a superstitious person for it would be for the jewelry hanging around her mother's neck. It may very well be what was keeping her here.

However, Tsunade wasn't going to believe such a childish thing. It wouldn't lead to a good ending. She was going to assume Mito was still with them due to her own perseverance along with medical assistance.

Tsunade looked back up into the redhead woman's face and quickly started up another conversation before Mito could question her slight change in mood.  A frown had formed on her face while she was thinking and she'd rather not ruin the content atmosphere.

Which is why Mito's condition was not brought up in their talk this time.

 

* * *

  
The sky was slowly darkening and Tsunade had just left her mother's room. Instead of heading home she went in search for her mother's doctor to ask about her condition. She knew it may have been better to ask her mom but what she wanted right now was a very blunt truth with no sugar coating. All her research lead her nowhere and Tsunade realised it might be because she was only sixteen with no real medical experience but she had been studying this disease for four years. She had started asking the doctors about the treatments when she was thirteen and pestered them until they finally told her. She was sure at this point her knowledge of myeloma was nearing that of the doctors. She may be getting ahead of herself but a lot of effort was put into finding a way to be useful to her mother. Now that she had hit a dead end with every turn leading to no further progress or an unfavourable result, she needed the doctors to tell her what was going on and where she had gone wrong.

She was brought out of her thoughts with the sound of a crash behind her. She looked back only to see a light blue haired teen frantically picking up fallen of medical supplies and medicine bottles of the floor then carefully placing them back on a tray. She could hear the other muttering to himself about losing his internship when she walked closer to help and noticed some off the bottles had broken causing colourful liquids and pills to slowly spread out on the floor.

He didn't seem to notice her coming towards him until she leant down to pick up one of the fallen rolls of gauze before the liquid reached it. The teen boy looked up at her with a surprised but grateful expression that someone had come to help him. Both teens avoided to broken glass and worked on picking up the the salvageable items.

Tsunade glanced over, only to see the boy's continued distressed demeanour.

"Are you alright?," she asked because the other appeared to be quite upset over accidentally dropping the tray. The blue haired boy blinked blue eyes up at her, not expecting the blonde girl to start a conversation. He tilted his head slightly thinking the other looked familiar but couldn't remember where he'd seen her. He hadn't realised he was staring until she shifted uncomfortably which prompted him to quickly answer.

"I-I'm fine, sorry," he wasn't sure whether he was apologising for staring or making her help him clean up even though she wordlessly volunteered.

"It's okay but you just looked like your really stressing out over this," Tsunade said deciding to voice her previous thoughts. "I mean accidents happen and I'm sure you won't lose your internship just because of this," she looked down at the mess on the floor briefly before looking back up to give the boy a reassuring smile. Tsunade wasn't sure why but she wanted to make the other teen feel better.

A light blush dusted the blue haired boy's cheeks when the blonde girl smile at him. He laughed lightly feeling his panic calm down a bit.

"Maybe you're right," he said feeling his lips quirk up slightly "I'm Dan by the way, what's your name?", the teen, Dan, introduced himself.

"Tsunade. It's nice to meet you."

With that they finished cleaning up as much a they could in companionable silence. They stood up when they were finished and all that was left on the floor was some pieces of broken glass, pills, wet badges along with gauze and a pool a various medicines which everything else laid in. 

"Thank you for helping me", Dan looked over and smiled at her appearing to have calmed down completely now with the serenity Tsunade saw in his expression.

"It's fine. Though what are you going to do about....that", she gestured to the mess of medicines on the floor. Dan groaned and his calm look replaced by one of exhaustion.

He sighed, "I'll have to get something to clean it up," he glanced up at Tsunade giving her a tired smile. "Thanks again for your help, Tsunade but I can take it from here". He shifted the half empty tray in hands as he looked at her as though waiting for a reply.

Tsunade was about to offer to help him clean the rest of it when she remembered why she was still in the hospital and where she was originally heading. She had gotten distracted while helping this person. She didn't know why she would still like to help the other, especially since she didn't know him but she had other things to do and he did say he could handle it.

Tsunade sighed and finally replied to the blue haired teen, "You're welcome. I actually have something to do before I leave so I should get going."

Dan nodded in understanding before he started to turn around to leave.

"Okay. See you around then Tsunade"

"Bye Dan."

Tsunade turned around to leave to but couldn't help glancing back at the retreating figure before going on her way. She would never know that only a second later Dan had done the same to her.

 

* * *

  
Unsurprisingly they met many times after that incident either by accident or seeking the other out. Dan realised the reason why Tsunade looked familiar to him was because she frequently visited the hospital to see her mother. The second time they'd seen each other was a week after their first meeting. Tsunade had walked into her mother's room and saw Dan along with a nurse talking to a new patient in the room. She'd waved over to him when he smiled at her and felt her own lips quirk up slightly but besides that they hadn't interacted much. She had walked over to her mother's bed with her father and brother and he left with the nurse soon afterwards.

It was when Tsunade came back to the hospital on her own a day later was when they got to talk.

"Tsunade!", the sound of her name being called caused her to stop walking and turn around to face the blue haired teen who was making his way towards her.

"Oh, Hi Dan," she greeted the other when he came closer to her.

"You're back soon", he stated. "I'm guessing you're here to see your mother," he continued conversationally.

"Yeah. I like visiting Kaa-san on my own sometimes so we can have time to just talk to each other." The two teens had started walking again in the direction of Mito's room.

Dan glanced over to her humming in reply before saying "That's sweet of you. How long have you been..." he trailed of not sure how to breech this topic.

Tsunade didn't mind telling him though since he seemed curious. "Two years but Kaa-san has been sick for four," she easily explained. Though her mother has been ill for so long it was only recently that she started staying in the hospital for months at a time. When Mito's stays became longer her family visits became more frequent until it came to a point Tsunade would just visit the hospital herself because she missed the woman's presence.

Dan noticed the mood turning somber and tried to find something else to talk about. He didn't know what to say or talk about to the blonde girl who was basically a stranger to him. They had seen each other three times including this time but none had allowed for a decent conversation. He wasn't even sure why he had called out to her today in the first place. If he had to have a reason it would be that he just wanted to talk to her. The thing is he didn't know what to say which lead to a semi-awkward conversation.

A sigh left Dan's mouth when he realised they were in front Tsunade's mother's door. He wasn't sure whether it was from relief of having his failed attempt at a conversation end or not getting to talk to the girl properly in the end. Tsunade didn't seem to have heard his sigh though and said her goodbyes to him before entering the room.

'Maybe next time,' he thought.

 

* * *

  
After several meetings between the two a proper conversation was had and somewhere along the line a friendship formed. Tsunade learned that Dan had gotten interested in medicine after his older sister died a few years earlier leaving his niece in his parents' care. He'd gotten an internship in order to become more experienced in the field. In return Tsunade told him about her mother's disease and that it was what made her fixated on learning everything she could about treatment, medicine and procedures. She told him about how she planned on getting her own internship at the hospital when she started University because at the moment with her being tutored by Sarutobi and helping babysit Nawaki (though Orochimaru helped her out with that) she was too busy.

They initially mainly talked about medicine and their shared want to help other people who had to suffer like their loved ones. Slowly more personal things slipped in from happy memories to greatest fears.

Tsunade confined in Dan the fear she had over losing her mother one day. She knew how strong of a possibility it was, knew that she should prepare for it as they had been told this by doctors every year but the thought broke her to pieces. She didn't want it to happen, no one did.

Tsunade had broken down when she finally said this to someone. It was a matter of time really, she had thought after it happened. She'd been immersing herself for four years trying to find a solution that cruelly avoided her. Every talk she had with her mom's doctors had further worked to destroy her hope. Tsunade avoided talking to her mom about it as she wanted for every moment she had left with her to be filled with her mother's warm eyes and kind smile. Not a tearful expression and a sullen atmosphere. She could have spoken to Hashirama but he seemed to be taking the situation just as bad or even worse than she was. She could feel him becoming more distant but she was sure the man had not noticed. Talking to him about this did not seem as easy as it should have.

Tsunade refused to burden her friends with her problems and she wanted Nawaki to live happily for as long as possible. He also may not understand anyway.

The blonde girl didn't know why she told Dan in the first place. He hadn't asked to know but when she started talking about how she rarely ever brought up her mother's condition when talking to said woman, more words kept coming out. Before she knew it she was falling apart in front of her new friend without sign of stopping.

Dan had seemed surprised at this sudden break down since he'd come to know her as this fierce I-can-take-care-of-myself person. However, in that moment a fragile girl with horribly realistic fears sat crying next to him. He recovered from his shock quickly and wrapped his arms around her trying to comfort her in anyway he could.

After that incident their relationship became much closer. Things were rarely hidden from the other. To Tsunade, Dan had become her greatest confidant who understood her the best and brought a sense of stability in her life with his calming words and presence.

She didn't know what she would do without this amazing person and she often told him that resulting in an embarrassed blush from the other. He would always get her back by saying something equally embarrassing.

"Your strong will and mind which makes you a beautiful person, are what would have helped you make it just fine on your own," he'd said to her once. Her face heated immediately with a deep flush when he said that and she promptly punch him lightly in his arm before huffing and walking away from him. He followed her though and his soft chuckles from behind her managed to bring a smile to her lips.

It came to no surprise to either of them when their friendship turned into something more a year later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's here! 
> 
> After four chapter. I am not the best at romance but I will try. (It's not the focus of this story so that makes my life easier.)
> 
> Until next time~


	5. And we are Consumed by Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to all of you again. As you can see only two chapters are left after this so I just want to say a thank you to everyone that has read this so far, along with those that left a kudo or bookmarking it. I will be saying another thank you at the end of the story but I just thought I should say one now.
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoy the chapter.

 Almost seven years had passed since her mother's diagnosis and despite everything Tsunade could say her life was decent enough at this point. It was a month before her nineteenth birthday and two months before having to return to school. She had started attending Konoha University in the spring and was enthused to be furthering her medical knowledge.

She looked up at the clear blue sky as she walked down the sidewalk to the hospital. She enjoyed walking on days like these when the sun was high into the sky and bathing the earth in it's warmth. She mused about everything that has happened for the past few years.

Hiruzen became mayor much to his dismay. She laughed lightly upon remembering his expression when he'd won the election for the new mayor by a landslide. He had always voiced his discontent at even being considered a possible candidate for the position. Though he knew from the start that this is why Uncle Tobirama had made him, along with three others his apprentices, he always thought it would be one of the other three who would have had a better chance at the job over him.

Tsunade couldn't help but think the outcome was quite obvious because he had been running against Danzo. Hiruzen was much more well liked than Danzo who Tsunade was sure was a corrupt man with archaic views on how to run a city. She could just imagine their friendly relations between other cities and towns would be destroyed with him in power.

That did not stop Hiruzen from looking horrified when he won though. Tsunade honestly wondered if the man was too dense to see how two faced his friend was.

At the thought of friends she remembered her's and their oddities over the years. Jiraiya was very much still focused on a job in law enforcement and was studying with her at the University before going on to train with the Konoha police force which was greatly controlled by the Uchiha's. The thought of them reminded her of Madara and she had somehow managed to grow a lot of dislike towards the man. Which may have been caused by Jiraiya's deep seated loathing for him or his sponsoring of Orochimaru.

Something felt off about that entire situation to her and she always had a feeling she was missing a very vital piece of information to solve the puzzle of her dislike for the man and Jiraiya's hate. She'd asked Jiraiya but was met with cold silence and then he refused to talk to her about it again. Orochimaru had told her that nothing was wrong and the man was just sponsoring him. She could never fully believe that.

She thought of Orochimaru and that always lead to her thinking of Nawaki. The two males were friends, there was no way to describe it beside that. They had remained close throughout the years and Nawaki had even taken an interest in science. Orochimaru worked so well with him that it always surprised her just how well her recluse friend got along with her energy ball of a brother. She could see it annoyed Jiraiya to no end.

She finally arrived at the hospital and made her way inside and to the elevator. She saw a familiar head of light blue rounding the corner as she waited for the elevator. She waved at him and he walk over to her smiling softly.

When he got close enough to her she leaned up and kissed the older gently on his cheek. This caused the smile on Dan's lips to widen and leaned down to press them against her's.

A light blush dusted Tsunade's face when she became aware of the fact some people were watching their open displays of affection.

In all honesty she should be used to this by now. The two of them have been dating for almost two years at this point and ever since she received an internship at the hospital, Dan and her were able to spend more time together. Not to say that they each didn't have their own work to do but the moments they got to enjoy together were nice.

Over the two years most of the staff had become aware of their relationship as they were either informed about it by Dan or her while some witnessed a peck or two the pair had shared. It was easily brushed of now with a roll of the eye or a cooing from some nurses about young love. It all still served to embarrass Tsunade to no end no matter how normal all of it was by now.

She moved a bit away from the other to reprimand him but after seeing the grin still present on his face just sighed and shook her head at her boyfriend.

The elevator dinged signalling it's arrival and both walked in, a content conversation about the others' day filled the small space.

This continued on until they got to her mother's room and Dan left her with a promise to see her when she was finished along with a final soft press of their lips.

Tsunade pushed open the door to Mito's room. Like many visits before this one, Mito was sitting up in her bed a book in her hands and alone in the large room.

The redhead woman looked up at Tsunade when she entered the room and patiently waited for her to settle in.

"I see you here everyday now, Tsunade. Sometimes more than once. I'm starting to think you live here." Mito joked, gazing over to her blonde daughter with warmth and love in her black eyes.

Tsunade chuckled softly at this. "Well I do work here part time now so I have more time to come see you".

"Ah but is it just me that you're always here to see," there was a barely noticeable hint of amusement in the woman's eye's.

Tsunade fought back another blush at her mother's knowing gaze. "W-well I get to see Dan..." she said a bit awkwardly. There was no use hiding anything, her mother had been the first to know of their relationship after all.

Well restrained laughter dance in Mito eyes as she antagonized her little daughter some more before they settle into idle chatter.

During the conversation Tsunade noticed Mito seemed to be frequently distracted and saw the flashes of pain in her eyes. Tsunade stopped their cheery talk to ask if something was wrong.

"Kaa-san are you feeling okay today. You seem a bit distracted," Tsunade asked regarding her mom's thin and weakened frame with building worry. Mito did not answer immediately instead silently observed her daughter, pondering whether or not to say what was on her mind. 

Tsunade felt uneasy with the sudden silence, she shifted on her chair and felt her concern increase as apprehension slowly consumed her.

"Kaa-san?"

"I have always wondered, Tsunade," Mito finally spoke, her tone becoming dismal and her eyebrows furrowing in thought, "Why, after all these years have you never once asked me about my condition."

Tsunade could see where this conversation was headed and opened her mouth to say something to steer it away from its direction but Mito was quick to continue.

"And not a simple 'how are you or am you feeling okay'. I mean a serious talk about my illness," the redhead said. When she saw her daughter had closed her mouth, making no attempt to reply she resumed speaking.

"You said that you're studying medicine in order to find a way to help me yet you haven't ever talked to me once about the very disease that you want to be able to treat."

Tsunade froze and stared wide-eyed at her mother in dread. For years Tsunade had tried to avoid talking about this with her mom. She had tried to make her avoidance of the topic discreet by asking how Mito was then carefully changing the subject so they would not get into detail about it.

All Tsunade wanted was for the moments she spent with her mother to be filled with warm smiles and laughter instead of a somber atmosphere. She did not want to talk about the possibility her mother was dying, in fact she refused to believe it no matter how much evidence pointed to that end.

"Tsunade," Mito started, a tight smile on her lips, "I don't mean to upset you with this. It's just...I want to know why?"

The blonde teen felt her throat becoming dry as she continued to stare at her mother. She knew she had to explain herself but going over the reason in her head it started to sound very selfish.

She swallowed and grimaced when the dry feeling persisted.

"I-I...I just wanted our conversations to be happier," Tsunade said quietly. "I didn't want all the time we spent together to be filled with you being upset about your health and I..." she trailed off, struggling to say the next part. It was the main reason why she never discussed this. She forced it out her mouth though when she saw her mother waiting expectantly.

"I don't want to accept the fact that you might be dying."

There, she got it out but now that it was said, Tsunade felt as though a heavy weight had settle on her chest like it was being crushed under the rubble of a collapse building. The pressure in her chest only grew when she saw the pained looked in her mother's eyes. This had been what she wanted to avoid. Tsunade never wanted to see that look on her mother's face. She felt her stomach churn at the thought she had caused such an expression and moved her eyes to white floors in guilt.

Mito also looked away from her and down at her lap where she'd folded her hands together.

"I see..."

Silence filled the room suffocating it's occupants. Tsunade more so than Mito.

Mito glanced back up at Tsunade who was glowering at the floor partially waiting for the older woman to say more while also hoping that they could talk about something else. The woman smiled at her daughter sadly.

"I have been meaning to give you something," Mito suddenly said and the unexpected but immensely welcomed change in topic made Tsunade look up in confusion.

She stared at her mother just as she touched the crystal hanging around her neck before lifting the necklace up and removing it from its long-term home. Mito held it in the palm of her left hand, observing the odd little blue crystal.

"Do you remember giving this to me when you were five?", her mom questioned. Tsunade was now utterly confused but nodded her head to confirm she remembered.

"You said to me some elderly lady gave it to you and that it can cause good luck for its owner."

Tsunade nodded again but slower this time, momentarily wondering where this was going.

Mito looked up into Tsunade's eyes. Black pools meeting amber in a silent message which Tsunade didn't comprehend.

"I didn't believe such a thing but wore it because you gave it to me. After that I lived for seven years, healthy with no signs of illness despite how often I used to be sick before. The doctors can't even figure out why this is, no matter how many tests they've done." Her mother's gaze shifted back to the necklace. "At some point I'd thought that _this_ was the cause of all these miracles and mysteries but my worsening condition now says otherwise."

Tsunade flinched at that. The physical proof to show just how true her mother's words were, was sitting on the bed looking sickly white almost grey, her mother's eyes appeared as if she had gone weeks without proper sleep and her body looked like it was in desperate need of anything called food.

The signs were right in front of her but she refused to acknowledge them for what they meant.

"I want you to have the necklace Tsunade," Mito said while leaning towards her now unmoving daughter and placed the crystal around her neck.

When Tsunade became aware of the light weight that was now around her, she reached up intending to take it off when Mito's hand, which was quite warm, rested itself on her own.

"No, it is yours now. I am giving it to you," her mother stated firmly. Tsunade was shocked by the fact the woman was giving her something she just said may have had a great effect on her life. She was bewildered but another emotion was creeping into her.

Fear.

Tsunade may no longer believe the wishful words of the elderly lady but over the years she had always wondered if this piece of jewellery was responsible for her mother being able to spend more time with them. The thought of Mito giving up such a possibly important item when the woman clearly needed it more did not sit well with her.

Her heart started racing as she attempted to think of a plausible reason for this through the cotton filling her mind. She looked into black eyes then, searching for an answer.

"But...why?", a hints of desperation was heard in her voice.

She could already feel a sense of foreboding with the necklace now hanging around her. The light reflecting on the blue crystal making it sparkle from the artificial light was not as appealing as it had been fourteen years ago when she had first seen it.

She saw Mito open her mouth to say something but closed it again quickly instead lifted a hand to wipe at the tears that were unknowingly being spilt from Tsunade's eyes.

Tsunade may refuse to accept the truth or even believe it but her heart knew and understood the implications of everything that happened right now even the silent message her mother had given was blatantly obvious. It just hurts to acknowledge it.

Mito smiled at her trying to convey her usual warmth to her daughter whose conflicted emotions shone brightly in amber eyes. Mito could see hurt, desperation, disbelief and stubbornness in that gaze. All she could do was continue to wipe at her daughter's tears and hope she would be okay eventually. She finally opened her mouth to talk.

"Because I hope it brings you more luck than it did me."

Be it wishful words or not, Mito thought that statement would be better than what she was previously going to say. She knew the necklace would be of more use to her daughter than her at this point. However the sight of Tsunade falling to pieces in front of her was harrowing to watch.

When Tsunade heard those words she felt the pressure in her chest break something within. It shattered and dispersed into pieces around her. Through Tsunade's muddled mind she had an idea of what the woman was going to say before. The thought left her crying into her mother's chest as it was the same as the silent message.

'I don't have much time left anymore. I'm dying, Tsunade.' 

* * *

When Tsunade left the room an hour later, her eyes were swollen red with dry tear trails streaking down her cheeks and her entire presence screamed exhausted. Dan, who had arrived five minutes prior to wait outside for her, was alarmed by her forlorn and defeated appearance. He quickly moved forward and wrapped his arms around her. He didn't ask what happened yet feeling as though Tsunade was not ready to talk about it.

She was immensely grateful for this and let a new set of tears flow from her eyes like waterfalls, enjoying the comfort the man holding her provided. His presence in this moment kept her grounded which she greatly needed right now.

It would be a week before Dan learned of what transpired. In that moment he would console Tsunade and be the strength she seemed to lose.

It would be another month before Tsunade's greatest fear was realised and she lost her mother. 

* * *

 The day they buried Mito would be forever remembered as a miserable day for Tsunade. It would also be the day she would come to realise something.

Family and friends stood around the coffin that was slowly disappearing into its permanent home in the earth. Tsunade looked up through blurry, tear filled eyes from her place next to Dan. On her other side was a sobbing Nawaki. His face was puffy, red and wet from prolonged crying that had started at the beginning of the ceremony and continued on to now. During the ceremony he had clung to her the entire time and never left her side. Even now he was still next to her, keeping himself close as though, if he moved away, he would lose her too. However it was no longer Tsunade he was clinging to but a certain paled haired man standing next to him.

Their closeness no longer surprised Tsunade as the sight next to her was normal. Nawaki was seeking solace from someone he was comfortable with, just as how Tsunade was holding onto Dan's hand for the same purpose. The blue haired man had become an anchor to her.

What pained her was when she glanced up and saw her father standing a ways away from both her and Nawaki. Hashirama even seemed to distance himself from the crowd despite having his brothers and Madara near him. The older man's mouth was pressed into a thin line, the many creases on his forehead prominent and his eyes expressed mourning. The once silly upbeat father she knew, looked years older than he really was and he was even separating himself from everyone around.

He was already succeeding with that where his children were concerned. Tsunade had noticed it before but it was so blatant now. With Mito's diagnosis, Hashirama presence in her and Nawaki's life became less and less frequent. Neither sibling had paid it much mind as they had other things on their minds or to occupy their time.

Tsunade knew she had been consumed in medical research but her friends and her had made it there job to distract Nawaki from all the depressing news so the little boy could still have an enjoyable childhood. Her father had also found a way to distract himself which was to become buried in work.

This started the drifting apart before any of them fully realised. Unfortunately Tsunade did not noticed how much worse it had gotten until the day of the funeral. On this day Nawaki and her clung to each other along with other people for support instead of going to their father.

Maybe it was because he just appeared to want some time on his own but the growing distance between them worried her.

She tightened her hold on Dan's hand which were intertwined with her's and moved closer to the male. He squeezed back in reassurance and it made her calm down a bit. She briefly realised when she moved closer to Dan, Nawaki shifted closer to her as well pulling a silent Orochimaru along.

All of this made her look at her father again. Knowing he was not okay by himself. They all needed to support each other now that her mother was no longer with them. The stabbing pain in her heart at the reality of everything caused fresh tears in her eyes and reinforced her previous thoughts.

None of them wanted the woman to leave them all so soon. It was a miserable loss for the family and it would take years to cope with. Having Hashirama, their only remaining parent drift apart from them right now would not be what Mito would want and it wouldn't help the situation.

Tsunade didn't know what it was she could do to fix something which had already gone so far. She reached a free hand up and grasped the necklace around her neck and turned her head to press against Dan's shoulder. In her current state there was nothing she could do. It made her feel useless.

When the burial was finished and more condolences were expressed to the family, people started to leave. The only remaining people after sometime were herself, Dan, Nawaki, her friends, Tobirama and her father.

They all stood by the grave that was now adorned with white flowers of many kinds. Mito had never been a lover of flowers and Tsunade wondered what the woman would say if she saw the amount covering her grave. A choked sob left her after thinking about that and it was this sound that stirred a sullen Tobirama from his reminiscing of better times. Tobirama glanced over to his unmoving brother before walking  towards the others still present.

"I think it's time to go," he said, his normally blank tone was rough with restrained emotion. He saw Dan, Orochimaru and Jiraiya give him stiff nods before they all gently urge Tsunade and Nawaki to turn away and leave the grave. Little of a fight was put up but he did notice Tsunade's eyes look over to Hashirama before being guided away by Dan.

Tobirama turned back to look at the still man who had barely spoken to his children or anyone all day. He turned away from his brother after some time deciding to leave the other to himself. Hashirama could get home on his own.

Tsunade was not the only one to notice his isolated behaviour. All Tobirama and Tsunade hoped for was that the man would pull himself together to see the distance he was creating with his family before it was too late.

They all left Hashirama there drowning in his own misery alone which he had unknowingly brought upon himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading.


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